by Sophannara Som
I just don’t know anymore.
I stand here looking at these tracks, these subway tracks, that brings me to and from school
My mind is going a thousand miles an hour like the train that will come before me,
My mind suddenly comes to an end though, like the train to pick up its passengers and go to its next stop.
I think to myself should I end it here also, like these tracks before me would.
Should I just stop my life?
Take that leap forward.
Finish right here and now,
Never getting to that destination I dreamed of.
I breathe in the air.
My body is saying, “Do it, do it now”
My mind however, its saying, “Think about it first, think, and just think”
So I step forward once more and I stand there
And all I can say is…
I just don’t know.